As intelligent beings, all humans dream to properly manage every single situation they encounter in their lives. We are able to grasp what is right. And being mentally strong and able to perform whatever the circumstance is desirable. We all envy an imaginary paragon who simultaneously runs a business, has a stable relationship, is raising four school-age kids, exercises with infuriating regularity and refrains from using profanity while driving at rush hour. Mentally strong people exist. But they are not a miracle. They do not have special insensitivity powers. Or easy lives. Or big budgets. Or extra time. They do not confuse being mentally strong with acting tough.
Instead, they regulate their thoughts, manage their emotions, and behave proactively, choosing to act in a way that will improve their lives, even through struggle or delayed gratification. They face reality without fear. They have unlocked their bliss and commit to developing daily habits that positively build their mental muscle and give up bad habits that hold them back. They appear to be superheroes, but they are just ordinary people determined to live their lives extraordinarily by finding the transformative power of their everyday lives. They just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
The good news is that we can all build our mental strength. Find your own role model for higher motivation and start consciously by emulating these seven significant traits that define them.
1. They have a proactive approach to life
Proactivity requires to be aware of your own mission and your own time. It means starting each day with purpose by taking control of what you do and when you do it. It means taking ownership of your own life. To behave responsibly. To work for things to happen. To focus on what is essential. To have a manifest destiny and move forward to it.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” (Lao Tzu)
Mentally strong people adopt a proactive approach to life by defining which path to follow. If there is a will, there is a way. What do you want from your life and what are you doing to make it happen?
2. They move on from things they can not control
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” (Steve Maraboli).
Focusing on what we cannot control takes our energy and attention away from what we can actually control. Focusing on what we can not control takes our energy and attention away from what we can. Mentally strong people are not trying to manage it all. They acknowledge their limited power over all those things they cannot control and all those things they should not control. They have developed and exercised the discipline required to stop worrying about what they cannot influence. They know they can affect the outcome, but they cannot control it. They use their energy on their personal input into things instead of worrying about an outcome they cannot control.
We cannot control what people think about us, but we can work hard to create stable and friendly relationships. We cannot ensure we will be selected for a job offer, but we can prepare ourselves thoroughly for it.
3. They embrace the unexpected and make the best of it
Life can be tough. But focusing on the feeling that we don’t deserve this way will not be of any help. Mentally strong people develop a positive thinking strategy to find always the bright side of life. They do not assume the victim role. They do not focus on finding culprits. They do not compare their miseries with those of others. They decide to grow with adversity and challenge by overcoming obstacles and twist them to their advantage. They are flexible enough to adjust to the unexpected and accept it as part of the bigger plan.
4. They look at the past, but they live and enjoy the present while planning for the future.
Mentally strong people look back to learn or to honor what was once. But they do not get stuck in there. Even if old times were great. Because they know that the soul becomes old when the past is heavier than the present or the future. Mentally strong people understand that there is no better moment than the present because now is all we have.
5. They calculate risks
Mentally strong people are prudent. They have a plan. They estimate all the different options and identifiable consequences, and they take intelligent choices. This does not mean they do not dream big or withdraw themselves from difficult worthy stuff. Contrarily, they are usually prepared to reach high and far as they have developed the needed resilience to overcome obstacles and focused on the desired goal. They take risks, but they are not reckless. They know their actions have aftereffects, so they behave consciously.
6. They do not gossip
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people” (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Mentally strong people are focused on the positive side of life. They spend their energy on self-improvement, and that is why they tend to spot those traits from others that they can emulate for the better. Strong people who live with conviction and sincerity see the good in others and learn from others’ mistakes without spreading the dark around. They are busy thinking and planning big.
7. They are kind
Being kind is now scientifically proven to strengthen our relationships and our sense of satisfaction in life. Contrary to what has always been thought, it is not a symptom of naivety or weakness but requires courage and strength. Categorized as main interpersonal skill, mentally strong people develop high standards of it. Confident about themselves and focus on self-improvement, they do not compete with or envy others. Self- awareness, and self-confidence make them more prone to accept others and celebrate goodness. They have open eyes to detect others suffering and enough sense of mission to give of themselves to provide for the rest. They do not just live life through a self-centered approach. They build healthy relationships through warmth and trust. They care about others and this caring is what usually leads them to top management positions and successful interpersonal relations. They find time and energy for people around them.